Do you want to know why bitterness should be avoided? Frustration that lasts too long can easily lead to anger, which in turn will breed bitterness in our hearts. When you’ve been single for too long, after a while it’s easy to become bitter.
We often hear messages about blessing, victory… And we ask ourselves the question: “why doesn’t God bless me with a husband?”. Although we obey God as much as possible, we also pray that God will bring us the right person and guide us… But still, nothing comes, our celibacy remains!
The difficult thing sometimes is when we ourselves, single, witness the marriage, or the birth of children in our family or in our circle of friends, and again we ask the Lord: “Lord, when will my turn come?” ”
How to avoid bitterness in our hearts
A frustration that has lasted too long can easily lead to anger, which will eventually breed bitterness in our hearts. Very often, in a case like this, we do not even realize that we have gradually slipped into an attitude of resentment. If this is our case, here are some reasons why we should not stay in bitterness.
1. By avoiding bitterness, we remove the deterioration of our relationship with God
Bitterness puts us in a relationship of adversity with God, we blame the Lord for our celibacy, and we think that he is inflicting punishment on us, he is not, because the Bible declares that God loves us with unconditional love.
- 1 John 3:1 God wants to do us good, he is on our side and reserves the best for us
- Isaiah 41:10 While you are single, the source of your strength is: an intimate and personal love relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
Bitterness prevents us from seeing our promise with the eyes of faith, bitterness causes us to focus on the problem rather than on the Lord.
By avoiding bitterness we remove the isolation of our environment
If we want a partner, a bitter and resentful attitude can easily alienate the person destined for us. No man or woman has the desire to unite with a bitter or angry person.
- Galatians 5:22 This bitterness can unconsciously punish or cause harm to our family and loved ones, so these people will move away faster than us.
Like God, these people around us, our family members, want the best for our lives, but our bad attitude can hurt them.
- Ephesians 4:31 – Hebrews 12:15 The bitterness in our life can increase when we easily receive the devil’s lies, his words and suggestions are meant to be contrary to God’s plans. Jeremiah 29:11
By avoiding bitterness, we will undermine the best things in us.
If our words are negative, if we put ourselves down and don’t appreciate who we are, it is a way of refusing to see the best that you have deposited in us.
- 1 Corinthians 6:20 God created us with assets, abilities, they say talents… We should not, out of the bitterness of celibacy, compare ourselves with others, devalue ourselves and undermine what you have made of us in Jesus Christ. Psalm 139:14
Things we can do to avoid bitterness
- Turn to the Lord and ask him to remove the wounds and bitterness from our hearts, recognize that we need his help, and give him our problem.
- Thank the Lord for all the good things that he has put in our lives, the gifts that he has deposited in us, and also thank him for the faith, for our future husband, and for the wonderful plan that he has planned for our life.
- Loved and appreciated the people around us, drive away envy, jealousy, and anger, because we hope in the Lord, and we want to be a blessing to those around us.
It is important to know that bitterness is a choice, that it does not settle overnight, but that we are the ones who leave it a space, or a place in our hearts. In the same way, we can also leave a place in our hearts for God to place faith, freedom, and hope there.
How to avoid bitterness and our thoughts
We have already seen that anger in itself is not a sin. It is the dangers of anger that cause problems. That is why God encourages us not to allow anger to turn into sin. There are several warnings in the word of God:
- Be careful that no one deprives himself of God’s grace; lest some root of bitterness spring up and cause distress, and many are infected by it. ( Hebrews 12:15 )
- Know this, my beloved brothers. Therefore all be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger: for the anger of man does not fulfill the justice of God ( James 1:19-20 )
- May all bitterness, animosity, anger, clamor, slander, and all wickedness be removed from among you ( Ephesians 4:31 ).
You can avoid the bitterness in your heart. Start with your attitude toward anger. If you have a problem with anger.
- 10 Practical ways to overcome anger easily
- 38 bible verses about failure for encouragement
- What does the Bible say about anger?
Example or testimony to avoid bitterness by Leroy Eims
Let’s follow the advice of Leroy Eims, a Christian leader who has also had a battle with anger in his life:
“Shortly after becoming a Christian, I was advised to make personal applications of the Bible in my life. One of the first books in my study was Paul’s Letter to the Colossians.
As I studied chapter three, the Holy Spirit called my attention to this: “But now you too, reject all these: anger, animosity, wickedness, slander, coarse words that would come out of your mouth” ( Col 3.8 ).
I tried to skip over this verse, but the Spirit kept repeating the words “cast out all anger.” Back then she had a violent temper, and whenever she broke faith, she would rush me to bang on the nearest door with her fist.
And yet, before me was the word of God: ” Cast out all anger .” It was clear to me that this wasn’t just good advice given to the people of Colossus centuries ago. It was God speaking to me right now. So this week I made a promise to God. He had told me about the sin of my anger and I promised him that I would work on it…
Steps Leroy Eims took to avoid anger
- My first step was to memorize the verse and review it every day for several weeks.
- I prayed and asked the Lord to remind me of this verse whenever a situation arose where I might get angry. And I asked my wife to pray for me and remember this passage if she saw me failing in my promise to the Lord. So Colossians 3:8 became a part of my life, and gradually God took that sin away.”
- I prayed and asked the Lord to remind me of this verse whenever a situation arose where I might get angry. And I asked my wife to pray for me and remember this passage if she saw me failing in my promise to the Lord.
So Colossians 3:8 became a part of my life, and gradually God took that sin away.”
Steps to avoid bitterness and our thoughts
If anger is not dealt with by God’s word, it can lead to bitterness. This resentment begins with a root, small at first and difficult to detect.
But eventually, it grows to the point where it infects others. What is to be done? God gives us the solution and the power: his grace. “ See that no one deprives himself of the grace of God” (Hebrews 12:15). Grace, that is, his power, is available to help you overcome and eliminate the bitterness in your life.
1. Have a forgiving spirit to avoid bitterness
Remember how many sins God has forgiven them and you will be able to forgive others too.
- Be kind to one another, be compassionate, be merciful to one another, as God has given you in Christ. ( Ephesians 4:32 )
Then the master sent for this servant and said to him: Impious servant, I completely forgave you your debt, because you begged me; Shouldn’t you have pity on your partner as I pity you? ( Matthew 18:32–34 ).
Someone who does not understand the forgiveness that God gives cannot understand how to forgive others. Jesus will even add that he does not know salvation if he does not understand God’s forgiveness:
- This is how my Heavenly Father will treat you if each of you does not forgive your brother with all your heart ( Matthew 18:35 ).
2. Trust that God’s justice prevails to avoid bitterness
You must let God act in your bitter situation:
- Do not avenge yourselves, my beloved, but allow anger to act, for it is written: My vengeance, I will repay, says the Lord ( Romans 12:19 ).
God made the promise that He Himself will reward all evils in perfect measure. His justice will prevail. No evil will escape his gaze. He sees evil more than you do.
He hates it more than you too. And he claims the right of revenge. Do you believe in this promise? Do you trust that God will act for you in a fairer way than you? If so, this text tells you that you are going to stop tasting revenge. You will leave that to God and be free to bestow good for evil and bless those who persecute you.
3. Remember God’s faithfulness helps avoid bitterness
During Jeremiah’s time, God’s people were brought down by God’s judgments. But instead of reflecting on their circumstances, they were encouraged to think about God’s faithfulness:
- Remember my humiliation and my wandering life, the wormwood and the poison; My soul remembers it well, it is crushed within me. This is what I want to return to my heart, that is why I hope: it is that the benevolence of the Lord does not end, and his mercies do not end; They are renewed every morning. Great is your loyalty! Jehovah is my portion, saith my soul; That’s why I want to wait for it. Jehovah is good with those who hope in him, with those who seek him. ( Lamentations 3:19-25 )
4. God can change evil for good.
The story of Joseph shows us a man who could be bitter. He was sold by his brothers, defamed by his boss’s wife, and forgotten in jail, but he did not forget God. Joseph saw how God allowed his circumstances and even wanted to use them for good:
- You had formed the plan to hurt me, God made it good, to achieve what is happening today and save the lives of a large number of people. ( Genesis 50:20 )
Six revealing attitudes to avoid bitterness in our hearts
- “Take care of your heart more than anything else, because from it come to the sources of life.” Proverbs 4.23
God has given us the responsibility to guard our hearts and deal with any hidden resentments. He will give us the grace to forgive, but it is up to us to take the first step. To do this we must begin by searching our hearts.
We would like to repeat this truth: everything that God asks of us is for our good.
You may not know whether or not there is a grudge in your heart. If you’ve gotten into the habit of living with resentment, you may find it difficult to remember all the people you need to forgive. Or maybe there is someone you think you have forgiven, but there is still a bit of bitterness inside. Here are six attitudes that indicate a hidden grudge.
Resentment always dominates.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13.5 that love “remembers no evil.” Do you keep a careful account of the ills you suffer? Do you store them on a mental hard drive, in case you need to download them to refresh your memory? If there is someone whose offenses you record, it is a sign that you have not forgiven him.
We always brag about good behavior.
It’s easy to think when looking at other people, “I would never do that! I can’t believe he could have done something like that!” The righteous themselves never see their sins, but they are unbeatable at seeing everyone else’s.
The grudge keeps complaining
Do you remember the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15? It wasn’t long before the older brother complained about the return of his younger brother.
- Luke 15:29 “Look,” the son replied, “I have worked for you all these years. And I have never disobeyed your orders. But you have never given me a kid to celebrate with my friends”
Instead of celebrating the return of the prodigal son, all he could do was complain that he never got to party with his friends.
Resentment pushes divides and separates – We must avoid bitterness
Let’s look at another testimony that will help us avoid bitterness in our hearts. It is important to prevent this feeling from entering our lives:
- Whenever Dave, my husband, had a word that offended me, my spontaneous reaction was to walk away from him. I kept going over his comments instead of forgiving him and moving on. She didn’t want to be in the same room with him and at night she slept on the edge of the bed. By refusing to forgive him, I was wasting my emotional energy and letting myself steal my joy.
- Resentment accuses, recounts the offense, and constantly reminds it. The eldest son kept reminding his father that his youngest son had left home and squandered his inheritance in a dissolute life. He basically told him, “How can you throw a party for him, Dad?” Does he keep talking about past offenses or injuries?
Resentment is jealous and irritates the blessings of the other.
It is not easy to accept that the one who has offended you is blessed. But just as the father gave a party in honor of the prodigal son, God wants to show his goodness and love for each one of us. And we can make it or lose it like the big brother did.
We would like to repeat this truth: everything that God asks of us is for our good. Living with a grudge will get you nowhere. In fact, it will only serve to make you miserable. The good news is that Jesus made a way to free us from grudges and allow us to live in joy and peace. Action for today
Trust God and ask him to help you if you need to forgive someone. He wants you to enjoy your life to the fullest. That’s why do yourself a favor and forgive!
Bible verses to avoid bitterness
When anger is not handled well, it can easily turn to bitterness. Bitterness is a poison that can cause physical and emotional problems. When you learn to manage anger in healthy ways, you can avoid bitterness. A compassionate Christian counselor can help you overcome this problem.
The effects of bitterness
Every incident of bitterness begins with pain. Whether someone deliberately or unintentionally hurts you, the hurt can be deep. If you deny it and don’t process it with forgiveness, the pain you experience can turn into bitterness.
Bitterness undermines your joy.
It can steal the goodness from your life. Paint a blue sky black and it holds you captive. Bitterness hurts you much more than the person who originally hurt you. It can destroy your peace.
When kept for a long time, bitterness can create health problems. You may experience the following symptoms:
- grind your teeth
- sleep disruption
- high blood pressure
- and other health problems.
These problems can lead to serious health problems like diabetes, heart disease, and stroke. It is important to deal with bitterness to avoid these health problems that can lower your quality of life.
Bitterness offers you no benefit. It can even cause distance in your relationship with God. A bitter spirit creates untold suffering. Oftentimes, a person struggling with bitterness can completely overcome it with the help of a qualified Christian counselor.
Avoid bitterness and resentment in relationships
Bitterness never affects a single person. If you are bitter, your bitterness spills over to everyone around you. Your negativity can cause others to avoid you. They may listen to your stories of why you got sour, and then worry that you might get sour on them for similar infractions. Bitterness can damage relationships in:
- your marriage
- In your family
- at your workplace
- in your church
- and in your community.
We have all experienced someone else’s pain. Some wounds are huge and can seem insurmountable. However, you can overcome resentment in relationships with professional advice.
You may even feel bitter toward God for a loss you experienced. It is part of human nature to blame God for things that could have turned out differently.
Your bitterness towards God could be creating big problems in your spiritual life. Your counselor can help you address the roots of the problem to find the freedom you need.
We must avoid bitterness with forgiveness and limits
The key to avoiding bitterness is forgiveness. When you forgive, you let the other person off the hook for their mistakes. You can surrender your pain to God, who will handle it with perfect justice. Then you can take a step towards freedom instead of being held back by the bondage of bitterness.
The person who hurt you does not need to apologize or make amends for forgiveness to exert its healing power. Forgiveness is an act of your will. It does not require any contact with your assailant. It is simply an act of faith between you and God.
Let’s say the person who hurt you was your father. His mistakes may have had a negative impact on his entire life.
It is possible that he is holding a grudge against his parents, even if they are deceased. By forgiving your parents, you release the desire to get what you never had. You can give your pain to God, who will take your bitterness and replace it with peace.
If your abuser is still in your life, you may need to set limits against inappropriate behavior to protect yourself against further bitterness.
Once you forgive, it does not mean that reconciliation is necessary or even wise in some cases. You can forgive while placing protective boundaries around you.
Boundaries will help you choose freedom without hurting yourself over and over again.
Forgiveness and setting limits are difficult steps to take on your own. You can get perspective and practical help from a Christian counselor. Your counselor will listen to you, validate your concerns, and help you come up with a plan to get rid of the bitterness.
Bible verses to help you avoid bitterness
To completely overcome the effects of bitterness in your life, it is beneficial to meditate on the scriptures regarding bitterness. Once you learn what the Bible has to say about this problem, you can avoid falling into the same traps as before. You can choose a better path with God’s help.
- Therefore, I will not be silent; I will speak with the anguish of my spirit, I will complain with the bitterness of my soul. -Job 7:11
Job suffered great losses even though he did not deserve any of them. He decided to vent his bitterness to God instead of holding back. This choice is also wise for you. When you safely vent bitterness, you can find healing.
in the psalms
- Although you have made me see problems, many and bitter, you will restore my life; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. – Psalm 71:20
Everyone has difficult seasons that can be bitter. But God promises to give us restoration. He wants us to put our hope in him so that we can overcome our bitterness. He doesn’t want us to get caught up in our problems, but to move forward with his guidance.
- I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I remember them well, and my soul is cast down within me. However, this I remember, and therefore I have hope: because of the great love of the Lord, we are not consumed, because his compassion never fails. They are new every morning; great is your fidelity. – Lamentations 3: 19-23
When you feel resentful, this passage can offer you great comfort. God remembers the reasons for your anger and bitterness even better than you do. He knows that you are tempted to choose negativity over positivity. But he wants you to remember his kindness and faithfulness every day. He wants you to focus on the hope that each new day brings as you walk with him.
in the new testament
- Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, fights and slander, along with all forms of malice. – Ephesians 4:31 NIV
This verse makes it clear that bitterness is a big problem. God wants us to remove it from our lives so it doesn’t become bigger problems. Work hard to eliminate it and you will be in the will of God.
Avoid bitterness at its root
See that no one falls short of God’s grace and that no bitter root grows to cause problems and contaminate many. – Hebrews 12:15
If you have a bitter root, it affects others whether you see it or not. By removing that bitter root, you preserve peace and faith among your family, friends, coworkers, and others. It is worth fighting not only for yourself but for everyone else involved.
Avoid bitterness with anger management therapy
Do you think anger management therapy is only for people with out-of-control tempers, whose angry outbursts wreak havoc in public? This type of therapy is also helpful for those dealing with bitterness in less noticeable ways.
As stated earlier, bitterness can cause health problems and relationship problems. To handle those issues, you may need anger management therapy.
Therapists help you form new habits to replace destructive behavior patterns. Your counselor will guide you through the steps of grieving in order to forgive your grieving offender. With the help of it, you can live a healthier and more connected life.
As you can see, this is the way to avoid bitterness in our hearts. We advise you that if you have problems, try to consult a professional and see what therapies can help you the most to overcome the bitterness. The caring staff of experienced counselors is a very viable option. We hope have helped you with this information. God bless you.