What are the best ways to overcome anger?
The practical advice to overcome anger can help us at a certain moment in our life, when things are getting out of control and where we have, without a doubt, God’s direction.
when we do not know how to control our emotions, the enemy takes place in our lives, which affects us both personally and spiritually.
All of us at some point have experienced anger in our bodies due to various situations that get out of control, personal conflicts that cause us impotence and frustration, insecurities, traumatic memories, and problems in all areas that make us emotionally out of control.
This happens to us because we have certain expectations of things and when we see that they do not happen as we had expected, it generates anger in us.
All this in a certain way is normal because we are human. But if we do not seek God’s direction, we can get lost along the way, and this can have negative consequences in both our personal and spiritual lives.
We must not let the enemy take place in our emotions, we must fully trust in the Lord and cling to his word that gives us the wisdom to face any situation:
“Keep silent before the Lord, and hope in him. Do not be upset because of the one who prospers in his way, Because of the man who does evil. Let go of anger, and cast off anger; Do not excite yourself in any way to do evil. For the wicked will be destroyed, But those who hope in the Lord, they will inherit the earth” (Psalms 37:7-9)
In this sense, we have Our God who helps us in any situation and who gives us calm in the midst of the storm. Therefore, we must not leave doors open for the enemy to take control of our emotions, making us sin against God.
Anger is an emotional reaction, a violent emotion that can be related to both biological and psychological changes. The intensity of anger can range from simple disgust to feeling uncontrollable rage or fury.
Within the changes that are generated in our body when we feel anger, we can find an increase in blood pressure, breathing, heart rate, sweat, redness, muscle tension, damage to the circulatory system, insomnia, and digestive problems may appear, less ability to reason and think coherently, among others.
In this way, by letting anger control us, it can cause significant damage to our health that, if not controlled, can lead to major diseases such as cancer.
So before we get angry, we must seek the presence of God and try to calm down for our own good.
10 practical ways to overcome anger
The natural way of expressing the contained anger that most of us tend to have is by using violence, either by breaking or hitting things, yelling, and generally we run away and isolate ourselves.
This is more delicate than it seems, especially when it comes to teenagers. So it is important to consider the following practical tips to overcome anger:
1. Capture the situations that provoke your anger
It is normal for you to feel anger in some extreme situations, but you must learn to control that situation. To face it and know how to manage anger, you must know the root of the problem, what situations or people generate the most irritation, and if you can avoid those situations, how to do it in the best way. So we must learn to work with our own reactions.
However, it is not about walking in life and avoiding everything that bothers us. It is about being able to be tolerant and face situations that are not very pleasant but that makes us more empathetic and less irritable. Certainly, conflict situations must be avoided, but you must also learn how to deal with them in the best possible way.
In the bible, Moses had to face Pharaoh, who had a hardened heart, who despite seeing the power of God, refused to free the slaves. But Moses did not lose his calm and fully trusted God, although the people pointed him out and judged him, he did not doubt the purpose that the Lord had.
In the same way, God exhorts us to have temperance, to face the adversary in a peaceful but firm way, to control our emotions, and let ourselves be guided by the Holy Spirit, who leads us along paths of light.
2. Watch your words when you are angry
When we are faced with situations of anger, we can say many bad words that we do not mean when we are calm. So you’re not going to feel the same or think the same way when you’re not angry anymore. So we must be careful about saying offensive and hurtful words, which we will later regret.
In this regard, the Bible exhorts us about words: “There are men whose words are like the blows of a sword; But the tongue of the wise is medicine” (Proverbs 12:18)
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3. Calm down and take a deep breath
We all need to be aware of our limitations. No one can know you better than yourself, and certainly, in life, we cannot avoid everything, so without a doubt, we are going to face certain situations that make us uncomfortable, people we do not like.
But that is what it is about, learning to be tolerant since the call of Jesus Christ is to love one another and even more so to love our enemies.
Which is a great mission, especially in these end times. The word exhorts us to the following: “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44)
In this sense, when you think that you can’t take it anymore, that things are getting out of control, calm down and take a deep breath. Get away for a moment from the place that is causing you anger, go for a walk, relax, and try to have positive thoughts.
Ask God for direction through prayer, read a psalm, and praise the Lord. All this will surely be a respite for your soul and will make you feel better.
4. Use the “cognitive restructuring” method
In psychology, the method of cognitive restructuring is very common, it is about changing our most inappropriate thoughts for others that can be of greater benefit to us. That is, change a negative thought for a positive one.
In this way, it seeks to eliminate the discomfort caused by various situations or adverse moments.
At this point, it is of the utmost importance that we put into practice training with our thoughts to avoid thinking that others act to annoy or hurt us.
We must stop assuming things, and change everything negative for the positive, for thoughts that act in our favor.
5. Learn relaxation and breathing techniques for better anger management
As believers, we must know that our breath is Christ, his word, his presence, and his Holy Spirit in our lives. However, as human beings, we can learn techniques that can also help us improve in all areas, to better control our emotions and thus prevent anger from defeating us.
In this way, when we take a good breath, it will help us to lower the tension and have clearer thoughts about the whole situation that we are going through. You can close your eyes and count to 10 slowly.
Take deep breaths, while trying to keep your mind clear of negative thoughts. The most used breathing techniques are abdominal breathing and Jacobson’s progressive muscle relaxation, which are excellent options when we are about to explode.
Prayer can also help you greatly, since by speaking directly with God, you will be able to feel his presence, his peace that surpasses all understanding, and you will feel calm in the midst of the storm.
On the other hand, it is important that you manage to sleep well, and sleep 7 to 8 hours a day, since rest will help you relax and better control your character. If you don’t sleep well, this will increase your bad mood and make you more irritable.
6. Apply social skills
Every circumstance that we experience daily requires the mastery of our skills or behaviors that allow us to interact better with others and that our life develops in the best possible way.
For this, it is necessary that we learn to listen to others, and at the same time that we have the ability to hold conversations fluently, that we can be grateful when they do us a favor, be able to help when someone needs us and accept criticism in a mature way.
So to better control anger, it is essential to be able to channel information from our environment, to know how to listen to others and interpret the different situations that arise, accept opposing opinions, and not get frustrated by them. Similarly, you should be careful how you express yourself to others to avoid rash accusations.
7. How to control anger with a person who irritates us
In some cases, the things that irritate us have to do with toxic people who cause us anger. In these cases, the most advisable thing is that when you notice that you start to get irritated, you move away from that person to avoid any conflict situation that could get out of control.
It is not about repressing your emotions either, it is about being able to control them and detect the root of your irritation, in order to avoid it as much as possible. You can express your anger calmly.
Faced with this type of toxic people, you must be very mature, always listen to the other version and be able to reach agreements that lead to a healthy relationship. But the most advisable thing is to hang out with people who feel the same way, who have the same beliefs because unbelievers cannot fully understand your lifestyle.
8. Perform physical exercise
When we do some kind of physical activity we release endorphins that help us calm down and give us the opportunity to release anger. It also turns out to be very good for our health in general, it helps us with stress, with muscle aches, it helps us maintain a healthy weight, among many benefits.
9. Write and release your anger
Writing can be a way to drain your anger because when we let off steam we can let out everything that causes us discomfort and makes us feel angry.
Through writing, we can also organize our thoughts and reflect on the situation that is causing us to lose control.
There are people who have diaries, where they express their emotions and thoughts. There are others who write letters to their friends expressing how they feel, others write on paper and then tear it up as a form of therapy.
That is, each person can express themselves in the way they want, they can also write songs where they communicate their frustration, their concerns, and their feelings.
On the other hand, you can write phrases that give you encouragement, jot down bible verses, search the internet for thoughtful words, inspirational readings. Anything that can help you calm your anger will help you. So write when you feel angry for some reason and vent.
10. Laughing is a therapy
One of the ways to overcome anger, calm down, and relax is through laughter. Certainly, when we are angry, it does not cause us to laugh and we are in a bad mood.
However, watching a funny movie can help us relax and use laughter as therapy. In this regard, the word tells us the following: “A joyful heart beautifies the face; But because of sorrow in the heart the spirit is broken” (Proverbs 15:13).
Although it is difficult, if we show a positive attitude, problems are seen from another perspective and a dose of joy and laughter in our lives can help us better cope with adversity.
As believers, we must do our part and know that all things help us for good and that everything has a purpose that we may not understand today, but in God’s time, we will understand. So do not let yourself be overcome by anger and give joy to your heart because the joy of the Lord is our strength.