Marriage is a divine institution. It consists of the union of two beings, a man and a woman for life, before God and before men. Many are those who aspire to marriage. However, it can happen that this much desired event is delayed or blocked in the lives of some people.
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This can be due to several reasons, some of which are explained below.
Far from being only an institution of God, marriage is a whole vocation, a ministry. Does not marry who wants, but who is really called for. Indeed, each spouse will have to answer before God for the way in which he was a help or a support for the other, on the day of judgment. You must then be convinced that you have received the call of marriage and respond to it by choosing marriage.
Nevertheless, like the apostle Paul, some people may indeed have received the gift of celibacy, for full consecration to God. Knowing whether or not you are called to marriage keeps you from going down a path that is not God’s for you.
The wounds of the past.
Many are these people who have withdrawn emotionally into themselves, following situations experienced. It can be betrayal, heartbreak, abuse, etc. Some people whose parents didn’t get along or divorced may also have a bad image of marriage. This prevents them from really engaging in such an approach.
In this refusal to suffer again these wounds of the past, these people can erect walls that constitute obstacles. If you are in this case, I invite you to reconcile with yourself, to heal your wounds before engaging in any relationship. Otherwise, you risk injuring or being injured. Ask for help from God, who can restore all that has been destroyed in you.
Psalms 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
The wrong choice of spouse.
Marriage is a union for life. Two whole lives are involved. For this reason, we must be really ready and choose our spouse with the help of God. In His love, He can create situations or lift the veil on certain hidden things, so that we can turn away when it is still possible. For example, engaged couples who had to break up following an electrophoresis incompatibility.
Similarly, some people met the person, but not at the right time, which resulted in a breakup. This is why it is important to follow the timing of God, He who does all things good in His time.
Amos 3 v 3: Do two walk together unless they are agreed?
Note that the bad spouse is not necessarily the one who will hurt you, but also the one with whom you will not be able to accomplish the work that God expects of you. Ask the Lord for help to help you have the necessary discernment to differentiate between the warnings of God and the oppositions of the devil.
It is important to have peace of mind throughout the marriage process. You must be sincere with God, with yourself, and with your spouse.
1 John 3 v 21: Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we can have confidence before God.
Acts of the past.
An elder in faith used to say, “ We are the result of our prayers yesterday. In the same way, some of our decisions of yesterday can have repercussions in the present or in the future. This is why it is important to allow ourselves to be guided by the Holy Spirit who leads us in the direction of the Father.
Sometimes it’s remorse that can keep you from going down the road of marriage. This is one of the means the devil uses to confuse the children of God.
1 John 1 v 9: If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all sin.
Whatever you may have done in the past, know that remorse is not from God. Simply get up from your fall by confessing your sin so that God will forgive you, and accept that forgiveness. If there is someone who has been hurt by your actions, do not hesitate to ask for their forgiveness as well.
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The financial means.
Two scenarios arise here: those who want to spend excessively and those who lack the means. Let’s not forget that marriage itself begins with life together. It would be useless to want to do like this or that other person. Indeed, your marriage can be blocked simply because you seek to have an excessive budget, and for reasons which are not for the glory of God. Although it is an exceptional day, it would be worthless if not for the glory of God.
Colossians 3 v 2: Take care of things above, and not of things on earth.
As for the lack of means, it can come from the fact that the bride and groom are not ready. It is not advisable to embark on a marriage process if at least the future groom does not have a stable source of income. If financial difficulties arise despite there being a source of income, then we can content ourselves with doing things with the few means and a good organization. Since He honors those who honor Him, the Lord can also bless us beyond our expectations, through our own family, church brothers and sisters, or acquaintances.
To sum up, if you aspire to marriage, let your only goal be to please God. Don’t be closed to requests or be afraid to ask. Just make sure that God is at the center of everything you do. The Lord is faithful and He says He honors those who honor Him. Then let the Lord lead you and trust Him with the timing. He’s never late.