Do you often experience an inferiority complex compared to others? Whatever the field, you find yourself less good, less intelligent, less competent, and far below others?
Whenever you want to do something, you don’t dare because you are afraid of not being up to it? You never manage to assert yourself and you fear being rejected?
Do you have trouble taking initiative and making choices? It’s time to put an end to this discomfort that blocks and tortures you. My friend, you were created in the image of God, you are His creature, His child. You are a unique, wonderful, and talented being; don’t let the enemy make you believe otherwise.
What causes lack of self-confidence?
You will never be able to get out of it without having identified the causes. What caused this low self-esteem? Why do some people seem so confident and sure of themselves, when you can’t? How is it that others are able to make decisions on their own when you are not?
Lack of confidence can stem from:
- Education received: you lived in an environment that did not promote your self-confidence. By dint of receiving only negative words, criticisms, and reproaches, you have forged yourself the idea that you are good for nothing, that you are useless, that the others are better than you.
- Perfectionism: you have always been very demanding of yourself. You want to do things the perfect way. The problem is, you are chasing after something impossible. You are spending so much time and energy trying to achieve this. Hence this feeling of dissatisfaction and constant frustration.
- Repressed negative emotions: the lack of self-confidence can also come from certain emotions that you were not able to express: anger, frustration, humiliation, resentment …
The more these emotions accumulate, the more it will generate fatigue, low energy, loss of interest, inner chaos, and a lack of self-confidence. - Trauma experienced during childhood: People who have had painful and traumatic experiences such as mistreatment, sexual abuse, abandonment, bullying, rape, assault, are also prone to lack of self-confidence.
- A negative inner dialogue: the first person who can make you doubt yourself is yourself. If you are constantly criticizing, denigrating, and belittling yourself all the time, how do you want your self-confidence to improve? ” I am too fat “; ” What an imbecile “; “Anyway, nobody likes me”; “The others are much better than me …”
How to build better self-esteem?
Let it be clear, there is no question of becoming proud or arrogant. Because it is not the will of God either. Rather, it is about getting rid of that feeling of complexity and inferiority that destroys us inside. The goal is to make you able to love the person you are, to be more independent, to no longer feel trapped by the gaze of others …
Yes, but how do you get there? You can’t stop others from criticizing you. You don’t have the power to filter the words that come out of their mouths. On the other hand, you can work on yourself. And believe me, that’s more than enough to boost your self-confidence.
Get in touch with God
When the complex begins to attack you, pray and speak to God. It is in Him who you will draw your strength. It is in Him that you will be able to know who you are and how precious you are. Tell Him everything, your fears, your fears, your instability, your frustrations, your grudges… And ask Him to get rid of them. Remember, you are a wonderful and unique creation of God, you are His masterpiece, and God is so proud to have you as a child.
Psalms 138: 13-14 “It is You who created my conscience, who woven me in my mother’s womb. Lord, thank you for making my body such a great wonder. What You are doing is amazing, I am well aware of it. “
Then meditate on His Word, for there He will reveal to you who you are. It will remind you of your true worth, your place, and your importance. You can, for example, listen to Christian music, read the Bible, review those Bible verses that you have kept in one of your notebooks… In short, whatever the means, come into intimacy with God.
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Talk more positive thoughts
Philippians 4:13 (Word of life) “I am capable of all of this because of Christ who makes me strong. “
Cast out of your mind the thoughts that say that you suck, that you are not good enough, that others would have done better than you … And start telling yourself out loud, that you are a child of God, the Creator of the Universe, the King of kings and that He loves you. Tell yourself you’re going to get there because you have the best mentor, the best Dad, the best advisor there is; and whatever happens, God will always be near you. You might not be perfect, you might not be the smartest or the best, but God is!
Don’t hold on to your past anymore
2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV) “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. “
Days, months, and years go by, but you keep remembering that painful memory, that traumatic and humiliating experience. My friend, it is certainly not easy. But just hanging on to this painful past won’t improve your self-confidence.
Maybe your parents were tough on you. Your loved ones have kept telling you that you were not up to the task. You have been the victim of assault or abuse. You have known so many failures … But keep in mind that the past is already past and that no one will be able to do anything about it. It is not this past that defines who you are. So, stop hanging on to it. The best is yet to come!
Dare to assert yourself
Galatians 5: 1 (KJV) “Christ has made us free for freedom. Therefore stand firm, and do not allow yourselves to be placed under the yoke of bondage again. “
Self-confidence is built from these little things, such as no longer avoiding the gaze of others, no longer looking away or looking down… Now that you know who you are, don’t be. ashamed/afraid to assert yourself. Are there choices to be made? a decision to be made? Are you being asked for your opinion? Instead of saying “I don’t know”, “I’m not sure”, “do what you want”, feel free to express what you have to say.
Don’t neglect your appearance
Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and been disgusted by the person standing in front of you? Personally, this has happened to me before. And harmless as it sounds, neglecting your appearance can seriously lower your self-esteem. “Not only am I bad, but look a little, it looks like a piece of woodworking!” Your appearance must be well-groomed, play sports, do not neglect your hygiene, make yourself beautiful… It allows us to feel good about ourselves.
Accept that you are not perfect
Last but not least, know that you are not perfect. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself like you used to. Give thanks for each little effort, for each step taken, for each project accomplished. Did you fail? It is part of the journey, know that you are doing your best, that you are struggling every day. Even if what you’re doing isn’t perfect yet, that’s okay.
Isaiah 43: 4 (BFC) “It is that you are valuable in my eyes, you mean a lot to Me and I love you (…)”
You have value, you are a unique and authentic model. You are you, and no one else can be like you. God gave you talents, know-how. And you are special as you are, with your flaws and qualities. Don’t stop making efforts, improving yourself, cultivating yourself, surpassing yourself… and become the best version of yourself.