How to deal with people who mean you harm

How to deal with people who mean you harm

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Are you having misunderstanding or clashes with people?  Here is How to deal with people who mean you harm.

It often happens that we have differences with others: misunderstandings, clashes, disputes, and this can lead to conflicts, quarrels, and sometimes even resentment taking root in the hearts of some, pushing them to want to harm us. 

Sometimes we have done nothing a priori, but people still want to hurt us. How to react to them? How to handle such a situation?

You can’t understand everything.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 “…even if man cannot understand the work that God is doing from beginning to end. 

This is something that I would like us to understand definitively: you can’t understand everything, especially when it comes to everyone’s actions—trying to figure out the “why” of everything that’s happening is something that will not only frustrate you but make you even more upset. We cannot always understand why a person does such and such a thing, but we can pray for them, which brings us to our second part.

Unconditional love.

 Matthew 5:44, 46 (KJV) “But I say to you: Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you (…) If you love those who love you, what reward do you deserve? Don’t publicans also do the same?

As we often say in my country, “This is the part where the actor dies…”. Here is the part that is very difficult for many Christians to do: love your enemies. Because to be able to pray for someone, you must first be animated by a feeling of love for the other. Otherwise, you find yourself saying prayers like: “Lord, take away his heart of stone and give him a heart flesh so he can treat me better. It is not bad in itself to pray like this, but such prayers are too self-centered.

Sometimes we are more attentive to the speck in our brother’s eye than to the beam in ours.

 And with this kind of attitude, we risk falling into judgment and bitterness toward that person. Nope! It is not good that it is so. We are called to be holy, to be filled with love for all of God’s creatures, whatever their actions and attitudes.

How to love our enemies?

Romans 5:5 (KJV) “… the love of God is poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. 

Matthew 6:12 (KJV) “Forgive us our trespasses, as we also forgive those who trespass against us;

For a while, I didn’t find it useful to forgive others, because I didn’t think they deserved it. In fact, I didn’t deserve to be saved either, otherwise grace would lose all its value. We don’t forgive when we feel like it, let alone when the person apologizes to us. We know that if we don’t forgive, God won’t forgive us either.

Moreover, how can you say you love the God you don’t see and yet you don’t love the man you see? This is absurd. Your lack of love towards your neighbor, ( whatever he did to you ) is just the manifestation of your lack of love towards God. How then? It’s very simple: Make the decision to love him.

With time I understood one thing: joy, love, forgiveness etc. in the Bible are not emotions but decisions we make about ourselves. Decide regardless of how you feel to love the person. Violate yourself and act by faith, so that after asking God to pour His love for that person into your heart, you believe that you have already received it and act accordingly! Do not wait to feel love but act; then you will feel it. Not easy ? Yes, I grant you. But there is not, to my knowledge, a resentful, hateful, bitter person who experiences the love of Christ because his heart cannot receive it; which condemns him to a life very short of the life foreseen for him before the foundation of the world.

Finally, I’m going to share this little testimony with you. Two years ago, I had a “slightly stupid” concern with a friend; which generated resentment in my heart towards him. And the Holy Spirit was calling me on this. But filled with pride, I refused to obey His instructions. Afterwards, tired of this constant discomfort in me, I decided to try to forgive him; but I couldn’t. Glory be given to God who helps us in our weaknesses because inspired by the Holy Spirit, I made the decision to greet her every morning, whatever she said to me. I made the decision to defend her every time someone spoke badly about her behind her back. I made up my mind to pray for her, not for God to change her heart but for God to bless her more excellently than I did. Sincerely at first it was difficult, because the flesh hates it, but the Spirit in the face of this kind of love can only rejoice with joy. Months later, she came by herself to apologize to me for her way of acting…

Beloved, the Christian’s greatest weapon is not speaking in tongues or even spiritual gifts but it is the unconditional love of God poured out in our hearts. Forgiving the offense does not necessarily mean entering into a relationship with the person, but it does mean no longer harboring resentment, bitterness and anger towards that person. Whatever the harm that has been done to you, give yourself a gift: Forgive!

Make the decision to love by performing small acts of love and you will see great things manifest in your life.

Stay blessed!